Why are SOME Black Men so Threatened by Black Women?

This topic has been on my mind a lot this summer, and yesterday, what I witnessed at my job, just put everything in perspective.

I literally ran home to my computer like this…

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I mean, why are some black men completely refusing to date black women?

Let me explain what I witnessed…

So, I’m behind the bar at my job listening to a conversation between two black women and one black man. I believe they had a “sister-brother” type of relationship. They were discussing who the guy was dating and he admitted that he wasn’t dating anyone. One woman suggested to the man, “please, date a black woman” he quickly said, “no,” followed by laughter.

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Sir, What’s funny?

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He even looked at me while laughing… sort of like he wanted validation… like he wanted me to agree with him?? UM I’M BLACK, DID YOU FORGET? I just looked down at my phone and shook my damn head. NOT TODAY SATAN!

Why are some black men completely REFUSING to date black women?

Like I said…I’m a black woman, and I’m completely proud of my melanin. Do you hear me, I AM PROUD, OKAY?

But what really struck me was that this black man wasn’t saying this in front of black men, you know? HE WAS COMPLETELY SURROUNDED BY WOMEN… BLACK WOMEN! HELLO? HAVE YOU NO SHAME? Why was he so comfortable in admitting this in front of us?? Seriously, I’m still baffled.

The man goes on to say that he dated a black woman ONCE and has committed to not dating another.

ONCE!!!? ONCE, dawg? ONCE!!?

Okay, cause I can surely count on all 10 of my fingers and all 10 of my toes, an F’d up thing a black man has done to me or one of my female friends while in a relationship.

Now, would I dare COMMIT to not dating BLACK MEN… when my father, grandfather, brothers, and uncles are BLACK MEN?


There are so many black men in my life that I love and respect and so many black men who are PART of what makes me ME.

I mean, this is really a reflection, and I’m simply just releasing my thoughts… BUT WHY DON’T WE GET THE SAME RESPECT?

I’m all for preferences, and interracial dating, don’t get me wrong. But when you voluntarily state AS A BLACK MAN, NO, I WON’T DATE A BLACK WOMAN, you are completely out of line.

I’ve heard a lot of this “black women and black men” relationship preference talk lately since the many shootings of black men, especially by police officers. A lot of comments like, “When the black man is down, the black woman is always there, helping him up.”


Malcolm X said it best:
“The most disrespected person in America is the black woman.
The most unprotected person in America is the black woman.
The most neglected person in America is the black woman.”

It’s just a damn shame that in 2016, we have black men who won’t STAND for us, when us black women will always STAND for y’all.

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What are your thoughts?

xoxo, Ryen

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